The Christmas Wish
by jerseygirlinoxford
Summary: Stephanie finds the magic of Christmas


Lee Anne's Thanksgiving Challenge

Okay…yeah I know…it's a Christmas story but I got my first Christmas card yesterday and I already did a Thanksgiving story. I used 12 words made from MAYFLOWER and are in italics.

The Christmas Wish by Jersey Girl in Oxford (Sue)

This is a Babe story and doesn't bash anyone….hey it's a damn Christmas story…okay? Some language.

Officially, I hate Christmas! It's probably because I haven't had a really decent Christmas since I was a child. Christmas used to be such a magical time. I used to believe in Santa, Rudolf, Frosty the Snowman, and the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. Now, I'm _**more**_ like the Grinch with a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Maybe it is just because I'm so damn lonely. I used to have two men in my life. The first I knew since I was six years old. Joe Morelli was a Trenton cop and one hot and sexy man. He loved me and wanted to marry me but that came with conditions that weren't acceptable to me. Okay, so I wasn't the best Bounty Hunter in the world…not even close! But, I loved my job. And I was getting a little better at it all the time or at least I thought so. The other man was Ricardo Carlos Manoso AKA Ranger. He owned his own security company and was good at…_everything_. I'd like to define our relationship but I really can't. He was my friend and mentor and for one night, we shared mind blowing sex. On the exact same day, Joe told me he found someone else and just wanted to be friends and Ranger went into the wind. It sucked to be me.

My problem? Joe wanted a relationship but not with the _**real**_ me. Ranger just wanted sex. I loved Joe but I was in love with Ranger. Wasn't that a kick in the ass? I knew Joe was seeing someone else because he told me. Lately, I've been hearing rumors that Ranger was seeing someone. That really hurt. He always told me that he didn't do relationships. Obviously, he just didn't want one with me. That hurt more than anything. I guess it's just time to move on. I needed to get out of the house anyway. Sitting around with Ben and Jerry wallowing in my misery was not helping my waist line. I still had some Christmas shopping to finish and two skips that had to be brought in by tomorrow.

I stopped by the Bonds Office to see if Connie had any new files for me. Tank, Ranger's second in command and best friend was there dropping off the Rangeman body receipts. He nodded to me as he took the new files from Connie. Before I could stop myself, I was asking about Ranger. "Have you heard from Ranger yet?" So much for moving on. Tank shook his head no. Their verbal communications skills were overwhelming. "Do you know when he is due back?"

"Should be back by Christmas. He has plans to go to Miami for the holidays," Tank told me. God, I hope the shock and disappointment I felt was not written all over my face. Since I was afraid my voice would betray my feelings, I just nodded. Tank gave me a sad smile and a nod as he left. Shit! That's all I needed. Someone else feeling sorry _**for**_ me! I was doing enough of that for myself.

"Got anything new for me Connie? She shook her head no.

"I don't think many _**are**_ running because of the holiday," she surmised. "Are you alright, Steph? You look a little down."

"I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind these days." I hoped that sounded believable. Even if Ranger came home before Christmas, he wasn't going to be here anyway. Was he going to see someone special? His family was still in Newark. Hopefully, he was going to see his daughter, Julie. Then again…what did it matter? He didn't want me anyway.

I brought in the first skip with only a small tear in my jeans. At least I wasn't covered in garbage. Time was running out for Christmas shopping. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. I decided to brave the mall to see if I could finish my shopping. It was a freaking mad house. Another reason to hate Christmas. Shopping had always been a stress reliever for me. I couldn't even count on that today! After making a _**few**_ purchases, I began to wonder around the mall. There were couples walking around and holding hands. Families spending quality time together. It just made me all the lonelier. I sat down on the nearest bench. A voice broke me out of my thoughts. I turned to see a department store Santa sitting next to me.

"Excuse me?" I asked him. He smiled.

"I asked you what you would like for Christmas," he told me. Getting picked up by Santa at the mall…how much _**lower**_ can my life sink into the abyss? "You look a little lost." Great…not only do I feel like a loser, I look like one too!

"Uh…don't you have a group of kids waiting somewhere who want your picture?" I responded. He laughed.

"I've already heard what half the children in Central Jersey want for Christmas. That's easy. It's all material things. You…" He pointed to me. "You want something _**from**_ the heart. Something you think you can never have." I think my jaw hit my lap.

"Uh…this is a little too weird. I think I'd better go," I stammered as I rose to leave. He just smiled and laughed.

"You don't believe in me anymore do you, Stephanie?" Okay, I'm waiting for Rod Serling and the Twilight Zone music. I became too weak to stand and sat back down. The truth was if I was able to support my weight, I would have gotten the hell out of there.

"How did you know my name?" I looked into his eyes. They were _**warm**_ and sincere. I've come across plenty of weirdoes in my time. They usually have those weirdo eyes to go with them. Santa, well this man dressed as Santa, seemed….real.

"I know everything. Who's been good and who's been bad. You used to believe, Stephanie. What happened?" I opened and closed my mouth like a fish. I must have had low blood sugar or something. Maybe it was the heat? It was kind of hot in the mall, and this coat was heavy. I snapped out of my fog and regained the strength in my legs.

"I have to go!" I told him as I shot myself off the bench and headed for the nearest exit. That totally did not just happen, I said to myself. There is too much going on in my life and I need to take better care of myself. That's all. But deep down inside, it felt all too real.

I went to my parents for Christmas Eve dinner. Val, Albert, and the girls were there. We started the tradition of opening presents on Christmas Eve when Val and I had gotten older. We usually had so much company on Christmas day that it was nice to have enough time to share with just the family. Dinner was always good. The gifts I usually got…well that was a whole other story. I know it was the thought that counts. But when the ideas seemed to come from the thoughts of a person with brain damage, it was something else. We opened our gifts right after dinner.

Grandma Mazur seemed extra excited this _**year**_ to give me my gift. Too excited…so I was actually scared. When I saw how large the box was, I was beginning to get terrified. It was a statue of a naked man that went with a bird bath.

"I ordered the extra large penis for you!" she told me smiling. I tried to be equally as enthusiastic. Val cupped her hands over Angie and Mary Alice's eyes.

"Wow! Gee, Grandma. I really don't know what to say…other than you shouldn't have," I responded. "You _really_ shouldn't have," I added under my breath. "You know…it would really be a shame if the garbage man _accidently_ took this from me." Yeah, like he wouldn't know the difference with the rest of the crap in the dumpster.

Next, I opened the present from Val and Albert. Okay…here's another winner. It was some wooden carving that looked like a tiki idol or something. What the fuck? Could you pick out a more heinous gift to give to someone? "Oh boy! This is really something," I said. "Is this real wood? I hope this never catches on fire! I'll really have to put this is a safe place." Yeah, like the dumpster right next to the naked man statue with the custom extra large penis.

Finally, I opened the last of the humiliation from my parents. It was an orange and green poncho. Holy Crap! This was about the ugliest thing I had ever seen. And I wonder why I hate Christmas? "Oh….I'm totally at a loss here." Yeah…because I don't like to use the F word in front of my mother. The punishment would be worse than this poncho…no pineapple upside down cake for months!

"Try it on, Stephanie. I saw it and immediately thought of you!" my mother gushed. Shit…thanks Mom! You saw something that looked like a combo of boogers and vomit and thought of me. Swell!

"Uh…you know…I think I'll wait till I get home. I'm just afraid of the jealously this will inspire. It will be safer for me to _**wear**_ this at home…." Then I lowered my voice to a whisper and muttered under my breath, "….in the basement." There were more pleasantries but it was time to go. My mother sent me home with the best Christmas gift…a huge tin of homemade Christmas cookies. Those cookies were totally worth opening all those future dumpster residents that I had loaded in the trunk of my car. My mother expressed her love for me with food. It took me a while to realize this, but I finally got it. I kissed and hugged everyone goodbye and headed for my apartment.

As I drove home, the idea of going back to an empty apartment was choking me. It wasn't all that late…only 10:30. O'Malley's Pub was still open. I decided to stop in for a drink. It wasn't like me to drink my sorrows away but something was pulling me inside. There were only a handful of people inside. I guess I just joined the Lonesome Loser's Club. I sat down at the bar. The bartender asked me what I wanted. Since I was driving…although I could walk home and pray that someone stole or blew up my car with all my wonderful gifts inside…I just ordered a beer. As I went to pay, the bartender waved me off.

"On the house. Merry Christmas." I just nodded and thanked him. Yeah…Merry Fucking Christmas. I don't remember how much time passed as I sat there and stared at my beer bottle.

"You never answered my question, Stephanie. Why'd you stop believing in me?" I turned to see the department store Santa sitting on the stool next to mine. I don't know why I wasn't terrified. I mean I should have had some _**fear**_. I have had all kinds of stalkers but never been stalked by Santa before.

"Stalking is against the law in New Jersey you know," I replied and took another swig from my beer. He gave a hearty laugh. I swear his stomach jiggled.

"I'm not stalking you, Stephanie. I have something for you." Okay, I was getting a little curious now.

"Oh yeah? What do you have for me?" He pulled out a small gift-wrapped box and handed it to me.

"It's what you really want for Christmas, Stephanie. Love. Love that comes deep from the soul. Love that doesn't come with any conditions. You have to believe, Stephanie. Believe in the spirit of Christmas. Believe in love. And believe in yourself." I looked into his eyes again. Damn it! He seemed so sincere. I would really like to believe in love. Ranger always told me that there were all kinds of love. He just didn't love me the _**way**_ I loved him. I continued to stare at the little box.

"I want to believe in love, but the kind of love I want is not in this little box." I sighed and looked over at Santa but he was gone. I spun around and my eyes raked over the Pub. He was nowhere to be seen. The bartender noticed my agitation and came over towards me.

"Everything okay, Miss?" I just nodded.

"Did you see where that guy dressed like Santa went?" He gave me a quizzical look.

"Uh…there was no Santa in here. Are you sure you're okay?" What? Okay…where is the Twilight Zone music?

"Are you sure you didn't see Santa? He was right here. Look…he gave me this present!" I held up the box to show him but he still looked at me like I needed to be committed. Okay, Steph, you are really losing it now. Maybe you better just go home, curl up on the couch with Christmas cookies, and Ghostbusters. I stood up and put on my coat. "Sorry. My mistake." He nodded to me and again wished me a Merry Christmas. I was dismayed to see that my car was untouched and still parked at the curb with all that shit in the back seat.

I decided to leave the gifts in the car. The night was still young and maybe thieves shopping for last minutes gifts would steal them out of the back seat. I even left the doors unlocked for easier access. I changed into one of Ranger's shirts and settled on the couch to drown my sorrows in cookies and Ghostbusters. I set the little package on the coffee table in front of me. I really wanted to open it but was afraid. After a dozen cookies and the scene where Dan Aykroyd pulls up in the beat up old ambulance, curiosity had gotten the better of me. I slowly tore off the metallic wrapping and found a small velvet box. Okay…on the count of three, I told myself. One…okay I just opened the damn thing. It was a dog tag. What the fuck? I took it out of the box and gasped when I read the name on it. Ricardo Carlos Manoso! Holy Reindeer Shit!!!!! This was too creepy. But after the initial shock of seeing Ranger's name on the dog tag in the box, the tears came. Sobs wracked my body. He was what I wanted for Christmas! I wanted him to love me more than anything in the whole world! This was the worst Christmas ever! Fucking Santa! Just threw my love for Ranger in my face! Yeah...right! Believe in love my ass! I clutched the dog tag in my hand in a death grip as I cried myself to sleep.

I had no idea how long I was asleep. I didn't remember my couch feeling this comfortable. The smell of Bulgari was strong. I also don't remember my couch breathing either.

"Merry Christmas, Babe." It wasn't my couch I was sleeping on…it was Ranger. His hand was in mine. The same hand that was holding his dog tag. Okay…nice dream. Just go back to sleep and the next time you'll wake up alone….again, I told myself. But I heard his voice again. "You're not dreaming. I'm really here." I felt his arms tighten around my body, and he kissed the top of my head. I tilted my head up to look into his face. I pulled back and sat up.

"Wh-what are you doing here? I thought Tank said you were going to Miami?" The corners of his mouth twitched into what I know to be a Ranger smile.

"I was in Miami. I just got back last night. I couldn't wait till morning. I missed you." He missed me? Ranger actually missed me? My heart started dancing all over the place. Maybe there was something to believing in Santa after all? Then, I remembered the dog tag.

"I missed you, too. I got the strangest gift from some guy dressed like Santa last night. It was your dog tag." His expression didn't change but he raised one eyebrow. "It was wrapped in this box…." My voice trailed off as the box and wrapping were not on the coffee table. Just the remote and the cookie tin.

"What box, Babe? What do you mean someone gave you my dog tag?" I dropped to my knees and looked around on the floor. I ran my hand under the couch…shit…gross…shouldn't have done that!

"It was right here!" And where was the tag? I started looking on the couch, feeling around Ranger…oh wait a minute…that really feels good…oh yeah the tag! I checked the seat cushions. Nothing. It was all gone. But Ranger was here. I looked at Ranger like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Babe, what's going on?" Now he thinks I'm crazy. Swell! I sat back down on the couch and decided to come clean.

"Okay…this is going to sound totally strange. I met some guy dressed like Santa at the mall. He knew my name and wanted to know why I stopped believing in Santa. Creeped me out. I stopped off at O'Malley's last night and he showed up there. He told me that I wanted love for Christmas and gave me this little present. He told me what I really wanted for Christmas was inside. Then he's gone. The bartender didn't even see him. So now I was really creeped out and came straight home. When I opened it up, it was your dog tag! I had it in my hand and cried myself to sleep and woke up in your arms. I know you think I'm crazy but that's what happened!" I took a deep breath and slowly blew it out.

"Was I what you wanted for Christmas?" Shit…a loaded question. I couldn't look at him but nodded.

"You don't do relationships. You don't love me the way I love you." Oh my God…I did say that out loud. Great! I just humiliated myself again. He pulled me to him and hugged me close.

"That was my last mission. I'm done with my government contract. Someday can start today, Babe. I do love you the way you love me. I always have. I couldn't do relationships before. My time wasn't my own. I want to be with you." Major speech for Ranger! I don't know if I was more surprise by what he said or how much he said.

"I can't believe that Santa gave me you for Christmas!" Okay maybe there was something to the Christmas spirit thing? I felt him chuckle.

"I think you just dreamed about the dog tag, Babe. But I don't mind being in your dreams." I knew it wasn't a dream. It was real. And that guy was really Santa. He gave me the greatest gift I could ever imagine. I was finally loved unconditionally by the man I loved with all my heart! Merry Christmas to me!!!!!

After consummating our official relationship four times, Ranger asked me to come back to Haywood with him and would have Ella make us breakfast. Christmas was really looking up. Having Ranger love me and Ella cook for me….whoo hoo! We headed out to the parking lot and I noticed that my car door was open. Oh God! I hope someone stole all that stupid crap I got! Ranger raised an eyebrow but just followed me over to my car. The stuff was missing…ooh…what a shame, but that wasn't the only thing I noticed. There were tracks in the snow. Tracks that looked suspiciously like a sleigh and hoof prints. Ranger dropped his duffle bag when he saw what I was staring at.

"Holy Shit." I heard him mutter. He kneeled down to get a better look at the tracks. He looked back up at me with a rare look of surprise.

"Merry Christmas, Ranger." I told him grinning from ear to ear. He slowly rose and walked towards me. I placed my hands on either side of his face and gave him a gentle kiss. This got me the 200 watt smile.

"Merry Christmas, Babe. You never disappoint!"


End file.
